Archive for September, 2005


we have a mouse.
we have a unwelcome mouse in the house.
it is unsettling.
our landlord is getting an exterminator and traps.
but still.
i have heard the squeaking.
it puts us on edge.
(especially josh).
we have an old house.
and it’s better than bugs.
but still…
i wish we had a cat.

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ugh, i have been depressed to write because i am such a loser, and barely acheived anything on my list. i’m not even showing the list, because so little was done. why can i never get my shit together.

i’m in a funk today. a i-feel-trapped, why-am-i-not-doing-anything-with-my – life feeling.
i get this way when work is too hectic, and it’s stupid busy.
i have yet to write my resume that i should have done 2 weeks ago.
what is wrong with me?

my new goal though, instead of wallowing in this dirty funk is to use it to motivate me. i will be home, hopefully, relatively early tonight which will give me time to focus.

if only our internet at home would get working.

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apparently bush is now saying he takes the blame for katrina. at least he is saying this, but i see it as so obviously a political move. but at least they’re fessing up that they didn’t do what they should.

but still the insanity of FEMA pours in. this morning i was listening to npr and they were talking about how the doctors at the airport were continually frustrated and held back because when they needed more supplies, they couldn’t just call them in. FEMA demanded they FILL OUT FORMS and paperwork to get what they needed! considering they didn’t even have a fax machine, this request was literally insane. talking with the doctors you could tell how frustrated they were.

then, the military guy running that particular section was interviewed. idiot. he said oh you know, these doctors are probably just used to how it works in the ER. when they ask for something they get it. but this is a military opperation and we work differently. GEEZ RETARD. you know why the doctors get what they want? because if they don’t people die. duh. the way they continue to run this is like the british chopping down trees so they can walk in a straight line.

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i have become 100% sick of the “design” of my blog. and by design i really mean the colors, because clearly i’m not going to do much more designing here, due to my utter lack of skilllz. i need to do a color change.

speaking of doing things, i have tried to be very productive lately, or at least do the things i think in my head i’m going to do. i feel fall is truly productivity season. and i’ve been making a lot of lists to help me stay on focus. so here is a to do list for this week. ooh maybe i’ll go back and cross things off, to make me feel good!
spray mount vellum onto thank you cards
start writing wedding thank you cards (terribly late already)
design sister’s engagement party cards
send mock-up to mom for approval
meet with s. to discuss serious craft business direction & suggestions
go to first silkscreen class (!) on thursday
post pictures of little headphone case i made
send grandma photo/card
put out cardboard
send things to relief effort
unpack and wash newly brought home wedding items
make hair appointment
get haircut (gulp)
make yogurt
strain yogurt
talk to mike and tony about when we’re going to elephant
post new reviews to mb: bogota, sette, alta

i know there’s more, but that’s all i can think of for now. let’s see if i can do this all this week!

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wal-mart vs. our government

josh was saying this morning how wal-mart has been providing alot of support to the devastated areas. i guess they have 88 stores in the area, so since they have a presence there i’m sure it just seemed natural to help – and not just monetarily, they were opening up their stores for people to sleep in or take stuff. whatever. and wal-mart corporate got involved. the company heads personally went down and made sure things got done.

now as we all know, wal-mart is not the saintliest of companies. but i find an interesting comparison here. walmart had stores in the effected areas so they felt they had an obligation to do something. and corporate didn’t just leave it up to the regional managers. they didn’t just “phone it in” and give a couple check in calls in mississippi to the managers, casually asking “so if you guys need any help, just let us know…” they realized from the get-go that it was pretty obvious that this was situation that called for corporate to get involved.

wal-mart, a BUSINESS, realized this was necessary. yet our own government wouldn’t admit that clearly the local government wasn’t ready or able or WHATEVER. clearly in such a disaster it was obvious to corporations that they need to take care of business but our own corporate offices just decided to stay on vaca or go shoe shopping. they knew without even thinking about it that this was not a situation that regional could deal with.

but somehow our government just couldn’t see this, or refused to see it. at what point do you just say, i’m going to abadon the people i vowed to protect. at what point do you just think i’m too fucking lazy to care about thousands of displaced people in the country, and i’ll just let local gov’t deal with it. i mean really, how gross are you when you start thinking like that. there is no excuse.

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guilt trip

so we bought most of the rest of our discontinued dishes yesterday at replacements. i felt really guilty about it. i still feel guilty. i’m spending all this money on, when it gets down to it, worthless items while thousands of people hole up in arenas. is this any better really than what condi rice is doing? i am buying things that i would leave if we had to evacuate, things that are unnecessary because we already have a set of dishes. of course i can say to myself “well i need these plates, my parents will forever be disappointed at big family gatherings if i do not have a nice set of dishes.” but this is still empty, and just an excuse. but of course i will keep these dishes, even though i am guilty. such is life.

i know i had this guilt with 9/11. anytime i did something. i just sat and watched hour after hour of tv because i felt i didn’t deserve to do anything else. i know that there is horribleness around the world and here everyday normally, and we’re just reminded of it when things like this happen. it makes me want to believe that i’ll live a better life after this. that i will give more, and give more of myself. but, will i? should i actively make myself do more? we humans walk a thin line constantly of caring and selfishness….ugh.

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my whole body feels anger, frustration, and sadness for the hurricane situation in new orleans. i haven’t said anything yet, because there is just too much to say. i feel we should be doing more, but we have donated to the american red cross and will be donating to habitat for humanity. i encourage everyone who can to please donate money, time, or things to the cause of your choice. this is truly a case where humanity needs to take care of each other (instead of wasting time pointing fingers as who’s to blame). i need to look into ways to do more.

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check this teamforce stuff out!

another fabulous month for the 54 hour film project, with klumpy and the bingo king contributing this month. mucho excitement. 9 movies this time. is this a record? go watch now!

also, technology voice presses on with another installment of hul mal gumay’s world view. i feel this is the best installment of tech.v. to date. listen up, and please vote for it at podcastalley or subscribe at itunes (even if you don’t listen!)

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teeny tiny houses!

these houses are amazing. and so tiny. and mobile? i love this concept of living small instead of living bigger and bigger as we americans tend to do. but could i really do it? could i strip down my posessions to the bare minimum? sadly i don’t think could for the long term. but for a short period? it would probably be good for me.

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